


Me Too

by Triangulum



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: College AU, F/M, R plus L equals J
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 13:25:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8329552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Triangulum/pseuds/Triangulum
Summary: “Are you okay?” Jon asks.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Arya says instead of answering. Or maybe it’s an answer in itself. Jon freezes and says nothing. He has been, it’s true, but he won’t lie to her. She sits up and looks at him, eyes full of accusation and pain. “Why?” she asks.
Jon owes her an explanation, he knows that, but he can’t get any words out beyond saying her name. How is he supposed to tell her that the reason he’s been avoiding her is how disgusted he is in himself? That every time he sees her, he wants to hold her and kiss her in a way family isn’t supposed to?





	

Jon and Arya have always been close, ever since they were children. Her second word ever was her cousin Jon’s name. Her first steps were into Jon’s arms. Jon suspects that might be part of why his aunt, Mrs. Stark, hates him so much, but who knows? It’s Jon that Arya comes to when she has her first crush. It’s even Jon who has to explain to her what’s happening when she has her first period as she’s too embarrassed to talk to her mother or sister, Sansa. (Jon’s embarrassed, too, but he keeps it from showing. Ygritte, his girlfriend at the time, is _very_ open, and he pays attention in health class, so he luckily is able to give her accurate answers.)

Arya doesn’t like Ygritte. In fact, it isn’t much of a stretch to say she hates her. Jon never gets a straight answer as to why. A couple of years later, though, when 14-year-old Arya finds her first boyfriend in classmate named Gendry, Jon instantly dislikes him. That’s when he first pauses to looks closely at his feelings for Arya. What he finds makes him hate himself a little bit.

Arya knocks on his bedroom door late one night a few months later, her eyes red-rimmed. Jon lets her in without a thought, closing the door behind her. Arya flops backwards onto his bed with her knees hanging over the edge, staring up at the ceiling.

“I broke up with Gendry,” she says.

Jon heart stutters. He takes a seat on the bed next to her near her knees.

“Why?” he asks, not bothering with an apology that he knows she doesn’t want. 

“He knows my heart isn’t in it. It seemed nicer than dragging it out,” she says, still staring at the ceiling. 

“I thought you liked him,” Jon says.

Arya shrugs. “I do, just not enough,” she says.

“Are you okay?” Jon asks.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Arya says instead of answering. Or maybe it’s an answer in itself. Jon freezes and says nothing. He has been, it’s true, but he won’t lie to her. She sits up and looks at him, eyes full of accusation and pain. “Why?” she asks.

Jon owes her an explanation, he knows that, but he can’t get any words out beyond saying her name. How is he supposed to tell her that the reason he’s been avoiding her is how disgusted he is in himself? That every time he sees her, he wants to hold her and kiss her in a way family isn’t supposed to?

“Are you mad at me?” Arya asks tentatively. That breaks his heart a bit, especially since Arya never does anything tentatively. 

“No, of course not. I’m mad at myself,” Jon says.

“Why?”

“I don’t think – “

“I deserve to know why you’ve been avoiding me since I started dating Gendry, I …” Arya stops and Jon watches her put the pieces together, comprehension drawing over her beautiful face. He’s braced for her disgust, for her shout to her parents. Mrs. Stark will finally get him kicked out like she’s been trying for years. But the revulsion never comes. She scoots closer, until she’s sitting next to him on the edge of the bed. She nudges his knee with hers. “Am I wrong?” she asks.

Jon shakes his head miserably, not bothering to play dumb. 

“You’re not wrong,” he says.

Arya, always full of surprises, takes his hand in hers, threading their fingers together.

“Me too,” she says.

Jon stares at her, uncomprehending.

“Arya, you’re my cousin,” Jon says.

“I don’t care. It’s not like we’re siblings.”

“I’m older than you,” Jon says.

“Only two years, meathead,” she says, bumping her shoulder into his.

Jon doesn’t have an answer for that. They sit there for a while, their fingers twined together. Arya leans her head onto his shoulder and sighs. 

“No one can know,” Jon finally says. “No one can know, Arya. They won’t understand. They’ll take us away from each other.”

“I know,” Arya says. “Just you and me.”

“Just you and me,” Jon agrees.

And he kisses her.

For four years, they somehow manage to hide it, to keep their relationship a secret. It’s harder than in high school, when they both lived under the same roof and spent all their time pretending to be doing homework, or spending time with the rest of their family and trying to remember they can’t act like they want to, not even able to hold each other’s hand.

It’s both easier and harder now that Jon’s at college. Arya had encouraged him to attend NYU, the college he’d always wanted, even though it on the other side of the country. It’s his dream, and Arya wants it to happen, even if it means him only coming back for winter and springs breaks during the school year. They Skype nightly if possible, and text throughout the day. Arya spearheads the care package initiative for him and Robb (it would look weird if she left him out [Sansa had elected not to go to college, so Arya didn’t even have to pretend to care about sending her anything]). Mrs. Stark always makes a face when Arya puts together a box for Jon, but Arya blithely ignores her mother as she’s done most of her life. 

It’s during winter break Jon’s freshman year that they have sex for the first time, Jon having refused to touch her until she turns 16. Her mother and father take the whole family Christmas shopping except for Arya and Jon, who want to stay home and marathon a show they watch together. Ned asks if they’re sure, but Catelyn rushes them out the door, all too happy to leave Jon behind. Arya waits until she’s sure they’re gone before closing the space between them on the couch and crawling into Jon’s lap.

“They’ll be gone for hours,” Arya says and shifts her hips, grinding her hot center against his growing erection through the layers of fabric between them.

Jon isn’t complaining. He slips his hands up under the back of her shirt, caressing the smooth skin of her back while she kisses him hard, years of pent up frustration pouring from both of them. It’s over embarrassingly quickly, especially after she tells him how she touches herself thinking of him, imagining it’s him inside her and not her fingers. He at least makes sure she comes before he does.

They’re smart enough to use a condom, even smarter not to leave marks when anyone can see them. The Starks get home hours later to them asleep on opposite sides of the couch, Arya’s feet resting in Jon’s lap. They don’t suspect anything. It isn’t the last time it happens.

Jon’s spring break his sophomore year is different. Arya is a senior in high school and has been accepted to her two top choice schools. She’d toured Berkeley with her father, and now she’s flying to New York to tour NYU. Berkeley is a front; she’s going to accept NYU. Arya’s spring break miraculously matches up with Jon’s, so she’s spending her whole week with him. She’s so excited she can barely breathe.

Jon meets her at baggage claim, a huge smile on his face. She drops her carry-on and leaps into his arms. His arms wrap around her back and he holds her tightly, strong arms easily encircling her. To all the world, they look like just another young couple happy to be reunited. Jon acts without thinking, kissing her softly. Her eyes widen in surprise, but she kisses him back.

Jon has three roommates, boys names Pyp, Grenn, and Edd, and all are down in Cancun for spring break. They’d invited Jon, but he’d happily declined, so Jon and Arya have the apartment all to themselves for the whole week. Jon gives her a cursory tour before lifting her onto the kitchen counter. He yanks down her shorts and buries his face between her thighs, licking and nibbling at her cunt until she’s coming all over his face.

They actually do tour the campus, and Arya surprised herself by liking it. She had decided on NYU purely to be with Jon, she hadn’t really considered if she’d like New York (a glaring flaw in her plan, she thinks in retrospect). Jon takes her to all the touristy spots, just because, then to all the local haunts and favorite places he’s discovered in the last two years. They’re able to walk hand-in-hand in Central Park. Jon kisses her in Times Square. She slaps his ass in the grocery store. Neither want her to leave.

When Jon gets back for summer break, he and Arya float the idea of them getting an apartment instead of Arya moving into the dorms to her parents. Catelyn isn’t a fan of the idea, which they expect, but Ned is grateful that his nephew is willing to keep an eye on his cousin in the big city. 

They spend the summer with their family, and while they both enjoy it, they’re both ready to leave by the time it’s over. They move in to the small two-bedroom apartment in early August instead of September so Arya doesn’t miss the Welcome Day. Ned, Catelyn, and Robb all make the trip to help them move and set up furniture. When they all go out to dinner, Jon makes sure that the restaurant they go to isn’t one he and Arya had visited over spring break. Just in case.

Catelyn says goodbye to Arya, then sweeps right past Jon without a word. Robb cringes and hugs both of them. Ned kisses the top of Arya’s head and hugs them goodbye. 

“I’ll keep her safe,” Jon promises. 

Ned claps Jon on the shoulder and looks at him steadily.

“I know you will,” Ned says.

Arya and Jon watch the cab pull away, Jon’s arm casually slung over her shoulders. Arya grins when the cab disappears around the corner and yanks Jon back into the apartment by the belt loops.

They have a couple of weeks to get settled before classes start. They spend about half of that time holed up in the master bedroom. Technically, it’s Jon’s room, but Arya’s never spent a night in the room they’d set up for her. It feels like what Arya imagines a honeymoon would feel like. Every morning, she wakes up with Jon’s arms wrapped around her, their bare skin pressed together. He kisses her forehead and pulls her closer when he wakes. Sometimes they’ll lazily kiss, hands wandering over exposed skin, and come together with gasps and cries of each other’s names.

Edd, Grenn, and Pyp come to visit the week before classes start. Jon and Arya very carefully make sure that all of Arya’s things are out of the master bedroom and put safely in ‘her’ room (her glorified closet). The three guys are nice to her, teasing her and joking about finally meeting the ‘famous Arya’. That makes her smile and blush. They stay until late in the night, catching up after the summer and eating their weight in Thai food. When Jon and Arya crawl into bed that night, Jon sighs with exhaustion.

“Are you okay?” Arya asks.

“Mhm,” he answers, rubbing a hand over his face. “I just need to remember that I can’t touch you as much as I want, even here.”

“I know,” she says. “It’s worth it though…right?”

Jon rolls them so that she’s underneath him, his breath tickling her face. He brushes the hair out of her eyes and looks at her with such tenderness that it makes her ache.

“It’s worth it,” Jon says intensely. “It’s always been worth it to me, Arya.”

“Me too,” Arya says, voice soft.

She rides him slowly after that, his hands running all over her body, until they collapse to the bed, sweat-slick and exhausted.

Arya has a bit of trouble getting into the swing of things when classes start, but she gets the hang of it after a couple of weeks. She even manages to make a few friends in her classes. She settles in and has a life she enjoys that doesn’t just involve Jon. Jon’s happy for her. He’d be concerned that she’d move her for him and hate it, with nothing and no one of her own.

They’re careful not to be too affectionate in front of their friends, but sometimes they slip. A touch that lingers too long, a heated look, a casual arm around the shoulder or waist that’s just this side of too friendly. Arya almost breaks the arm of a girl that gropes Jon when they’re at a club one night. They get mistaken for a couple a few times when they’re out with their friends and need to tone it down.

Arya gets a C for a final grade in one of her classes. She doesn’t mind too much, but Catelyn Stark loses it. She says Arya isn’t mature enough to handle living away from home and maybe they should transfer her back to a local college. She blames Jon, because of course she does. Arya gets so upset that she starts hyperventilating. Jon takes the phone from her and snaps at Catelyn. He hears her gasp, but hangs the phone up before she can say anything. It rings again a few seconds later, but they ignore it. 

“Arya,” Jon says, kneeling in front of where she’s sitting. Her breaths come in short gasps, eyes watering with unshed tears. Jon gently takes her face in his hands. “I need you to take a deep breath, sweetheart.”

She does, taking a huge, gasping breath like she’d forgotten what air is for. She takes another, and it comes out as a sob.

“She’s so mad,” Arya says, tears threatening to fall. “Sansa didn’t even go to college and I’m still the biggest disappointment. She’s gonna make me go back, she said – “

Arya’s breath starts to shorten again and Jon pulls her to his chest, murmuring nonsense words of comfort until she’s calm enough that he’s no longer worried she’ll pass out.

“She’s going to take me away,” Arya whispers into his neck.

“No, she isn’t,” Jon says. “Your father will calm her down and make her see she’s being stupid.” 

“Hopefully,” Arya says. “Hey, you’ve never said my mother’s stupid before.” Well, he’s certainly thought it. “Seriously, why don’t you ever say something? She’s so mean to you.”

“I’m used to her being mean to me,” Jon says with a shrug. When he’d first come to the Starks as a little boy, his parents recently dead, Catelyn’s barbs would make him want to cry, but he’s had years to get used to her cruelty. “But her treating you that way is unacceptable.”

Arya sighs and pulls him onto the couch with her.

“What a mess we are,” she mutters.

Jon curls around her, wishing he could shield her from the world, and can’t think of anyone less of a mess than Arya.

Ned Stark calls a few hours later, giving them a chance to cool down, which they both appreciate. Arya puts the phone on speaker and sets it on the blanket between her and Jon. Ned doesn’t yell or demand answers, just calmly asks to know what happened. Arya tells him, she tells him what her mother said, how Arya knows she’ll never be good enough in her mother’s eyes. When she gets to the part where Jon snapped at Catelyn and hung up the phone, Arya gets heated again.

“And he isn’t going to apologize!” Arya says hotly. “She’s been cruel to him for years and no one cares, not even you!”

Jon stills.

_”I’ve talked to your mother about this, but I can’t force her to act a certain way,”_ Ned says. He sounds tired. _”And so you know, each of your brothers and your sister have come to me about how she treats Jon.”_

That’s news to them. They exchange surprised looks.

“Even Sansa?” Arya asks.

_”Even Sansa.”_

“Then why is she still so horrible?”

_”I don’t know why she acts like she does, but it’s not right, nor is it fair,”_ Ned says. _”I am truly sorry to both of you.”_

“Mother should make her own apologies,” Arya says.

_”Careful. She’s still your mother and my wife.”_

“Yeah, and she doesn’t like me,” Arya says.

_”Your mother loves you, Arya.”_

“She loves me because she has to, but she doesn’t like who I am as a person very much,” Arya says.

Ned doesn’t have an answer to that.

Jon makes the executive decision and takes Arya away for a long weekend, hoping to relieve some of her stress. They drive a few hours north to a little coastal beach town. They rent a bungalow from Airbnb and spend the first day walking along the beach and into the town, uncaring of the cold. They’re from the north, a little wind doesn’t bother them.

The little old man that runs the diner where they have dinner gives them a free sundae because ‘You two are such a cute couple! You remind me of me and my wife fifty years ago.’ Arya’s smile is wide and joyous. She kisses Jon sweetly across the table.

They light a fire that night, cuddling together under a warm blanket, listening to the waves crash against the rocks outside. Jon reads to her while she burrows into his arms, letting his voice wash over her like the ocean washing over the sand. She feels languid and lazy, comfortable and content in a way she only is with him.

“I love you,” she blurts out.

“I love you, too,” Jon says, looking down at her strangely. They’ve said ‘I love you’ since Arya could talk, and as soon as Jon saw her.

“No,” Arya says. She moves to her knees between his spread legs. “Not like that, it’s…I _love_ you. I’m in love with you, Jon.”

Jon eyes soften and he brushes the hair from her eyes.

“I love you too, little one,” he says. “I always will.”

Smiling beautifully, Arya kisses him softly before she leans forward, lying between his legs, sprawled on his chest.

“What will we do?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “All I know is I want to be with you.”

“We could just not move home and stay in New York,” she suggests. “It’s, uh, it’s legal for us to be married her.” She won’t meet his eyes, braced for rejection.

“You want to get married?” he asks.

Arya shrugs. “Eventually,” she says. “If it’s something you want.”

"Arya, look at me,” Jon begs. He tilts her face up with a finger under her chin and waits until she meets his eyes to speak. “You are the most important thing in my life. When we’re older, and ready, I will be honored to marry you. Until then, I’m happy to stay here with you.”

Arya grins and nearly crash-tackles him with the force of her hug.

“We can start over,” she says excitedly. “No one will know who we are. We don’t have to hide.”

“We’ll still have to be cautious,” Jon warns her. “And we won’t have the same things as other couples.”

“I don’t care about kids, or Christmas cards or anything. I just care about you,” Arya says.

Jon smiles, playing with her hair. 

“Me too.”


End file.
